It happened… I never expected that it would, so I had no plan in place against it. It happened, when I least expected it. I still can’t believe it, yet somehow, somewhere deep inside, I can.

When? slowly and gradually no doubt… How? drifting… aimlessly… robotically… drifting.

What?

Spiritual Apathy.

apathy

^{[ ap–uh-thee ]}
noun, plural ap·a·thies.

1. absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.
2. lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

Before you think I made this up, it’s a thing and its real. [see this article: Got Questions]

Don’t take my word for it or even theirs — but God’s.

I believe spiritual apathy was part of what was going on with 5 out of the 10 virgins as they waited for the bridegroom to arrive. They were in the right place, waiting. In the right place, at the right time, yet somehow they were unprepared.

What was missing? What was the difference?

Unlike the other 5, the “foolish virgins” (as they are so named) seemed to lack the expectancy, the excitement, the anticipation needed to ensure they had not just enough, but more than enough oil so that their lamps would be found burning when the bridegroom arrived. (Matthew 25:1-13)

Excitement. Passion. Anticipation. That’s what led the other 5 to come prepared with flasks full of oil – reservoirs of oil – ready, waiting, faithful.

I don’t mean to give the “foolish 5” a completely bad rep — especially as I find myself among them. They were, after all, in the right place. They did, after all, have their lamps with them….

Much like I was still going to church… still opening my Bible…still lifting my hands in worship and prayer.
Still going through the motions but not really there – not fully prepared. There without oil.

Let us test and examine our ways,
    and return to the Lord!

Lamentations 3:40

How?

How did this happen? How did my anticipation, my excitement, my expectancy run out?

Slowly. Gradually. Going through the motions without that same sense of awe and wonder at the love, the mercy, the faithfulness of God.

Pridefully. Selfishly. Living for myself instead of living for God. Focused on my to-dos, my goals, my desires– my relationship with God serving only as a means to those ends.

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first…

Revelations 2:4

Overcoming this feeling of spiritual apathy, of spiritual dryness, has not been easy. But I think the answer lies in the remainder of this verse:

….Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first.

Revelations 2:4-5

1. Pause and Remember – remember the passion, the love that initially drove your relationship with God
2. Repent – ask for forgiveness, turn away from apathy and anything that led you there
3. Restart – do the works you did at first. Recommit to fellowship with God, to serving Him, to loving Him.

And fourthly – don’t beat yourself up about it. If we are faithless, He remains faithful and nothing can separate us from His love. (2 Timothy 2:13; Romans 8:38-39)